#Wish it came from a story I'd liked
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flaskoflethe · 1 year ago
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Anyone else read "Timothy: An Oral History" from this month's Clarkesworld? If you haven't I've put my thoughts below a keep reading/more than 5 tags in, if you haven't link below. But if you have (or read it after seeing this post!), what did you think of it? Kinda want to compare thoughts on this, but not part of any fan communities for clarkesworld.
https://clarkesworldmagazine.com/swanwick_10_23/
Did anyone else take this as gender essentialist as I did? I was leery of the first paragraph, put off by the end of the first page, and just shy of angry at the second. "Male daughter" is not even close to unique, idgaf about a post-y chromosome world or how advanced the gene editing is! I wonder if there may be more people who would describe themselves that way (or equivalent cultural element/translation), genuinely, than have read this story!
I get the desire to ask what does a future without our views of gender as they are now existing look like. What a world where sex isn't something that's misunderstood by so fucking many people who assume it's binary - but this story did not do that, or anything remotely similar.
Idk, just curious what anyone else thinks. I briefly looked for any reactions/discussion, but couldn't find any.
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toxicroyjamie · 1 month ago
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I'm bet Georgie felt bad that she couldn't get Jamie braces sooner.
I'm sure :( Mom guilt is killer
But I think Georgie probably has a lot of memories of Jamie's childhood where she feels like she wasn't enough and wishes she could've given him more where Jamie feels the complete opposite and would never even think to blame her, and I think that's probably one of them
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fluffle-writes · 5 months ago
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I wanna. Pick them up in my mouth and shake 'em around like a dog obliterating a squeaky toy
#you can tag anyone you feel this way about but I was thinking about Rook hunt in particular#tbh I feel like he'd picture the same - just with Vil and Neige#he wanta his oshis to be besties (he is just lime me fr) (just a liiiittle furyher frim reality)#(I view neigexVil as nore of a crackship until we get more Neige development/lore)#(our queen Vil doesn't deserve to be genuinely shipped with someone who's kinda 2D rn.#But I respect people who flesh out neige with headcanons - they write the dynamics realy well tbh)#(hopefully we get more RSA development at some point I think that'd be cool)#(plus I'd cry if TWST just. stopped. after the last NRC OB)#(I mean it'd make sense aince that's where the story is based and it'll probably end once Yuu finds a way home#- which feels close now thanks to Ortho)#(But at the same time I. have been following this since it first came out when I was about 16 - same age as the first year squad lol)#(and I feel like it'd feel weird if we stopped getting main story updates)#(Im rambling a LOT lol - probably because I'm tipsy haha)#(hope someone can relate to my lamenting of future woes though)#(Oh well - I should atop borrowing sorrow from the future and live joyfully with the now)#(I do miss my friends who've stopped being in the fandom though - and my friends who deactivated and idk how to contact now)#(sugarandmelody... zacrazyvalentine... I miss them. but we had fun#writing and stuff. and I suppose that's what matters in the end. that we had fun.)#at least - I hope they had fun too. and I kinda hope they think about me how I think of them sometimes.#have a nice day if you're reading this. I rambled in the tags a while and I understand that it's kinda long lol.#and probably riddled with typos#I'm tearing up for some reason haha. well it is what it is#I hope each and every one of my followers know how amazing they are - I hope y'all have a wonderful day - evening - or night#I wish I could hug people across the internet lol#I should stop posting on tumblr while drinky haha#tw drunk#tw drinking#i'll tag it just in case#don't wanna cause discomfort and stuff
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rimouskis · 5 months ago
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sigh someone on twitter extolled the virtues of furiosa and said it was better than fury road. I just saw furiosa. they are wrong.
#the brilliant thing about MMFD was how it needed no backstory.#it required no explanation of who these people were or why they wanted what they wanted#that story gripped you by the throat and pulled you along for the ride and by god you took it#bleh. also I didn't really care for the numbered parts of the story that communicated the passage of time#I guess that's where the “saga” came in but I do think one of my favorite parts of MMFD was that...#it was a contained storyline! there were clearly so many other parts/facets of that world we didn't see#but we didn't need to see them becasue that wasnt the story that film was telling#and I feel like ... I dunno. MMFD was perfect. furiosa was not perfect. furiosa was not needed?#we already knew enough from MMFD about why furiosa had wound up as an imperator#seeing the full story I genuinely don't feel like I gained anything new about her and her character#everything we watch her become (or even begin as) in furiosa... all of it is apparent in MMFD#idk this movie felt extraneous. bummer!#good news is i was really worried about ATJ playing furiosa but she did fine. i have no complaints about her!#anyways anyone who wants to discuss come hit me up in the comments or reblogs or askbox whatever#I wish to dig into this lol#man that tweet got my hopes up. but i did not have the reaction to this that i wanted to have#when i saw MMFD in theaters it was a religious experience. that movie rewired my brain. I'd never seen a female action star like furiosa#all furiosa did was make me want to rewatch MMFR#also jesus christ I just realized I'd been typing MMFD for some reason. lol forgive me I'm on my phone sitting in the theater parking lot#pretend I typed MMFR that whole time
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slightlytoastedbagel · 7 months ago
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Yuka Shiraishi. btw.
#she has 20 lines at most but i love her#i'd really like for an 5 to have more yuka content... especially since ken is training vbs#ken is working them rough which for people surrounding vivid street (or at least vbs) would seem tough but understandable#but yuka is an outsider. yuka is a caring mother who still supports her daughter and her friends despite not growing up in vivid street#yuka would possibly consider this too much for the moment and try to get them to relax#and. i really want the current vbs arc to end with them relaxing a little#i don't think they'll go straight from “we're surpassing rad weekend and carrying nagi's wish”#to “we're tying ourselves down to this one event when we could go even further”#but they could definitely recognise “we're still kids we have time”#and yuka could be the one to bring that up. radder were all adults when rad weekend happened. vbs are in their second year of high school#and they're talented. so incredibly talented. kohane showed that at crawl green. akito finally realises his growth in his 4th event#toya has just came to terms with his classical music background and draws from it to write songs for the group#and an has had years of experience singing. except she also holds herself back in her want to be line nagi#which i'm almost certain will be addressed in her 5th event. and with yuka being the one who comforted an during lutf (in her card)#well. i think it would be nice for her to come back#especially as she is - again - an outsider to vivid street. she could represent how vbs can go beyond vivid street#another possibility is kohane's father. he sort of just disappeared after sdsc (at least i recall akito and an mentioning meeting him?)#and considering the impact he has on kohane (photography and his doubts regarding her sudden change in early game)#it could be nice seeing him again since with kohane/akito/toya seemingly reaching the end of a current arc in the last year#(ie the kohane and taiga plot/akito no longer feeling like he's behind the others/toya and classical music)#the next step in the group's story could be happening#half of this has nothing to do with yuka fjrjdiejd. i just like the concept of her being the group's link to going outside of vivid street#or going beyond is suppose. beyond the way...#bagel's rambles#i'm on break. watch me draw yuka design
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stinkbeck · 1 year ago
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u know i don’t think there’s a single part of me that’s untouched by trauma. like omfg me jokingly saying i wouldn’t get married unless it was at a gas station is literally bc the one time i saw my mom happy it was at a gas station with her fiancé a couple months before everything crashed + burned. the reason i don’t wanna date until i’m like 40 is because i want to prove to myself that i could fix someone before they lose all hope like my mom did. i’m so fucking transparent. i bet u could ask me why i do anything + i would legitimately have a real fucking reason for it.
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lattehearted · 21 days ago
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me: i don't fuck with w.izarding w.orld shit anymore
me, when i remember h.arriet h.ook and p.ercy w.easley went on a vacation to greece and spontaneously eloped on one of their last nights there: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
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keeps-ache · 2 months ago
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ooo that's minty babyyy
#just me hi#almost wrote 'babuuu' up there loll#anywho i got gum yesterday cuz i'm tryna stop chewing on my. everything hkfsh#lips + cheeks + finger skin. i don't like cuts v-v#i got miiiiiiiiint because they didn't have waaaaaaatermelon hbfsh :)#it's not so burny but i do still wish i had watermelon... ou....#//i wanna do something rn but i don't. know. wghat#pi.e is always welcome but i wanna work on bl.s but i'm also having my siblings play through a story that i have Stuck in my brain so hkfsh#i didn't think i'd get so Brained abt this one. and because i had them play it before i had an actual plot ready(just had basic world stuff#i can't think of this going any other way hbfshv - lotta fun interesting and weird things have happened that simply cannot be reproduced#/hang on my oven food must be turned lol#okey :3#/like the spy they ran into - idk if i've ever talked abt it lol but m gonna do so now hbfsjv#so they - my brothers whose names are fry and leo in this story. fry is an 8 yo tabby-cat sparrow and leo is the cat-dog-rat thing Shock :)#- anywho they're with the character Teddy and the three of them were going to head to the Crow Fortress to. fight them i guess lol ?? there#wasn't a like. real plan jfhsjv#so they're on their way out from the shore village-turned-fortress called Shimmery Shore and they run into a cloaked figure like a couple#miles off going towards Shimmery Shore (where fry's mother runs the fortress as general) and they start debating each other#fry goes 'wait what if this is a spy??' leo 'i dunno. we're going somewhere. so.' 'but if it's a spy??' 'well what are you going to do abou#it???' so fry asks the stranger 'are you.. a Spy [eyebrow raise]?' the stranger obviously says 'no!! what are you talking about???'#'that's exactly what a spy would say!' 'i'm sure a spy would also be saying the same thing! YOU'RE spies aren't you? this is all greatly#suspicious !!'#and the argument quickly came to the stranger pulling a sword and saying 'i'm going to pass now and you're not going to stop me' and the#group p much just put up their hands and went 'okay yeah sure man' and let them pass lol#the Squad argued abt it for like a couple minutes and then forgot about it shortly#anyway Shimmery Shore later fell to the Crows and it was due to some sort of slow collapse of their internal structures. and when they hear#that the two of them slowly looked at each other. and then started laughing kjhfsjgjhsv#anyway yea i do a lot of thinkin for this one on the fly. lotta stuff going on hbghfs#i'm bad at remembering finer details but at least i can keep my world here together lol :3#//ouh i've run out of tags.. okay m gonna eat my food n then do something hfh :) tooooodles !!
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telvannibugmusk · 8 months ago
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I've probably told this story on here before but there was a girl I was friends with in college who was dropping some pretty major "egg" hints/vibes in the couple months before she came out as trans that I 100% picked up on. But I was careful never to directly ask her about it or imply I thought she might be trans because I'd bought into the idea that it's incredibly invasive to ask someone about that kind of thing and she just needed space to figure it out for herself.
After she came out we were having a conversation and she told me that she wished I had just point blank asked her if she was trans, that she was kind of fishing for that response when she would describe her experiences that sounded exactly like gender dysphoria without explicitly naming them as such. She'd been too scared/uncertain to call herself trans yet, she wanted another trans person to recognize her so she could feel validated enough to recognize herself as trans.
Since then I've had little patience for people who act like egg jokes (or sincere questioning of suspected eggs), especially from trans people, are offensive or violating people's right to self determination somehow. Even if it's not accurate, it's not offensive to be compared to a trans person. And if it is accurate, it could be exactly what that person needs to hear to give themselves permission to be trans.
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neo-nomatrix · 11 months ago
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Sunshine and Midnight Rain
Luke Castellan x Apollo kid!Reader
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word count: 851
summary: Luke castellan and the daughter of apollos love story
a/n: “remember who the enemy is” IM TRYING
Luke Castellan held your heart since the day you met, and you held his.
You arrived at camp a few months after Luke. You were one of the lucky ones, claimed within an hour of being there. Your godly father is Apollo, god of poetry, the sun, music, narcissism, idiocy, stupidity, all that. You had assumed the gods would act superior to all, no matter if they were or weren’t. But Apollo was on a completely different level. You didn’t know why he had taken such a liking to you.
“You remind him of himself,” Your half sister, Kayla, had told you, “an archer who never misses, healer who fixes every wound, gifted singer, and somehow picked up the lyre in a day. And yet, you still ask why Apollo loves you the most?”
“I wish he wouldn’t,” you twirl the golden arrow he gifted you.
“y’know, that hermes boy has been staring since the moment you stepped foot here,” she smiles, nodding to the tan boy sitting on a picnic table.
“Great, more attention,” you keep your sights on the boy, lucas? Luca, maybe?
“His name’s luke castellan,” kayla says, ah luke, that’s it.
“He’s handsome,” you say matter of factly.
“Don’t trust those Hermes boys, all they do is lie,” Kayla leans back and rolls her eyes.
“It’s a good thing I play the lyre.”
——————
“You’ve got a great shot,” a deep voice says from behind you.
You’ve been at the range for around an hour, it’s 4:30, you always practice when no one else is around.
“The whole reason why I come out here this early is so i can be alone,” sure, it sounds mean but you swear you’re not trying to be.
“Sorry, once I see you it’s hard to look away,” you’re not looking at him but you can tell me has the biggest smirk on his face.
“Funny,” you tell him bluntly.
You set down your bow, keeping the arrow in your hand, and sit on the nearby grass. He lays down beside you, you follow his lead and put your hands behind your head.
“That arrow, it’s like it’s made of the sun,” He says amazed.
“A gift from dear old dad. No matter how far I shoot it’ll always come back. Supposed to be a sign of his love or something. But I think he just constantly wants me to be annoyed by him,” you inform him possibly too much.
“Most people would be grateful if their godly parent cares that much,” he says.
“It’s different with Apollo, there is no such thing as true altruism with him,” you bite your inner lip.
“I get that, I’m just tryna say- Hermes never showed up for me, and I'd kill to just have him tell me he cares,” His eyes furrow.
“Guess we both have different priorities,” you smile.
“Opposites work best don’t they?” He smiles back.
“Isn’t it opposites attract?” You wonder.
“Hey, your words, not mine,” he laughs.
“That one’s Orion,” You point up at the constellation.
“He was always my favorite,” he adds.
“Mine has always been Cassiopeia, but you can never see her over here,” You look back up at the sky.
“That one’s Taurus, and then Sirius below, and Gemini above,” you point each of them out.
Even though he hums in acknowledgment his eyes are locked on you.
“You’re staring, again” You mention.
“I told you I can’t help it, especially when you glow like that,” he reaches out and touches your face.
You reach out and grab his hand, running your fingers against his slender digits.
“I’d like to be a constellation when I die, maybe my father will fulfill that wish,” you say to him.
“That’ll be my last wish too, we can lay in the stars together.”
——————
It’s been a day since Percy Jackson came to Camp Half-blood. It just so happens to be your favorite day of the year, capture the flag. You have led the archers on the blue team for years, you’d say you’re doing well for what you’re given. Besides your siblings in Apollo the rest of the kids weren’t as gifted in archery.
As the first conch shell blew you were preparing for your mock-battle. Annabeth in charge of the plan and Percy, Luke with company, and you with the archers. You knew you could, no- would win. The archers took the trees, helping stray company from the skies.
“Today feels like a winning kind of day?” Annabeth asks luke.
“I’ll see you on the other side,” He smiles.
“Luke!” You pull him aside for a moment.
You cup his face the best you can through his armor. “You don’t get hurt okay? I don’t feel like healing anymore wounds from you. Understand?”
“Oh but I love to see you healing” he holds your hand and smirks
“Archers! Move out!” You call your team, eyes still locked with his, smiling.
“so… you and her?” Percy asks the taller boy.
“how could I not? She's perfect. I mean, I genuinely believe I could live without the sun if I just had her.”
And maybe, just maybe, he could.
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aromantic-pantyanarchy · 11 months ago
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It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.
I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.
I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.
I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)
I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.
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writersmess · 2 months ago
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DEATH WISH LOVE | EVAN BUCKLEY
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Pairing: Evan Buckley x fem!reader
Summary: Buck never thought he could love someone like that. Especially not someone with the same death wish love as him.
Warning: Anxiety crisis, near-death experience, hospital, crying, ansgt.
Word count: 2.5K
a/n: My God, I can't believe it's taken me over a year to get back. I missed this place so much. It's been an intense, crazy year. I finally got my dream job at the best hospital in Latin America. I'm so happy, but at the same time it's demanded everything of me, working long shifts almost every day, but its the price I have to pay. I hope you like this one, it was based on the song Death Wish Love by Benson Boone, which as soon as I heard it I immediately imagined something with our dear Buck. I confess I thought I'd do something angsty, but I don't think I have that capacity, he already suffers so much that I just wanted him to have a happy ending this time.
Masterlist
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You were the new firefighter in 118, and also new to the city. In order to follow your dreams, you left your hometown with everyone and everything you knew. You craved for bigger things, you wanted the big city, you wanted Los Angeles.
The team welcomed you with open arms, which was unusual to you. You weren’t used to this or neither known by your affectionate gestures, but apparently everything was an excuse for a hug at the station. It was a bit hard to get used to all this affection, especially when you came from a place where you were always by yourself.
That was one of the main reasons you became a firefighter, you have walked through fire every single day of your life, why not make it your profession?
You were a source of curiosity between the team, always so quiet and so resistant to everyone's affection. It was hard to win you over. Especially because you had a rather difficult personality, you were fearless at work, you weren't afraid to go into the fire to save lives, you did it without thinking twice.
To Bobby you were a cause of concern, and sometimes the reason why he was having trouble sleeping. He knew this personality very well. It was the same one he had struggled for years to learn to deal with, the one he had to fight with so many times, he was very familiar with this death wish love, it was the same as Buck’s.
The blue-eyed man on the other side, couldn't understand why he couldn't take his eyes off you. Ever since you arrived a few months ago, your image has been running through Buck’s mind. You've become a challenge for him. But not in a bad way, he wanted to get to know you, he wanted to understand you. But you didn't make things any easier for him, especially when today was the first time he'd seen you laugh.
"You're drooling" he snapped back to reality when he heard Eddie mocking next to him.
"Shut up" Buck said, turning his gaze back to you playing with his niece.
You had a beauty he couldn't explain, an angelic one. You had this steely gaze and looking at you felt like suicide. He would fall to his knees if you asked him to. How could someone so delicate also be so dangerous?
The way you were reluctant to follow Bobby's orders, you'd walk into the fire without a second thought. You would take risks without thinking about your own safety, just thinking about everyone else. He saw how hard you worked, he saw how mad Bobby got when he ordered the building to be evacuated and you were always the last one to leave. You were intriguing and he was fascinated.
It was so strange for you. Being in Maddie's living room, with everyone gathered together like a big family, laughing and telling funny stories. The team met once a week, with all the families together, the children running around the living room, the smell of food in the air, the voices, the laughter.
You accepted the invitation after a few months of refusing, and now you spent the week looking forward to the moment when you would be together again.
Sometimes when you got home from a meeting, you cried. You cried because you never had that, you never had anyone who cared about you. You were an unexpected pregnancy, your parents didn't planned you, they didn't want you and that was never a secret to anyone.
And that's why you were surprised when one day you arrived early at the station and Hen had a cake for you that you had once said reminded of what your grandmother used to bake.
Or when another one Eddie handed you a drawing that Chris made specifically for you. Of the two of you playing together.
Or when Maddie sent you, through Chim, the cookies you said you loved one day while you were having coffee together.
Or when Bobby invited you to have lunch with him and Athena on a Sunday ‘cause he knew you were going to do it alone.
Or when Buck gave you a book he'd heard you say was your favorite during a conversation.
*
It was mid-afternoon on a Sunday. Your hands were shaking, your heart pounding. The words your father had once spoken echoed in your mind. "You will never be loved". But you were at a table with 118's entire family, and you felt loved. Maddie told you about the gossip from her work. Karen hugged you from the side every time you passed by her. Hen included you in every conversation. Athena calmly answered all the questions you were curious about her work. So why did you feel like an imposter? Why was your father's voice echoing inside your head? Why were you on the verge of an anxiety attack?
"I'll be right back" you muttered to the girls, but you realized how shaky your voice sounded. You were pathetic.
You barely made it to the bathroom, your legs buckled and you sat down in the corner of the room. You could hardly breathe, it was hard to pull in the air. Tears streamed down your face. Your heart was racing. Your hands were shaking.
You heard your voice being called from outside. Damn. You couldn't calm down, your hand was on your chest as if it could make the pain go away.
"Hey, hey. I'm here. Calm down, I’ve got you" it was Buck.
His voice was just a whisper in your ear. You let a sob escape your lips. Pathetic. You felt his arms around you, until you were all wrapped up in his arms. Why was he doing that? Why did he care?
He stayed there until you stopped crying. You were still in his arms, and it was so warm, so safe. Sighs came from your lips, and you couldn't imagine what a mess Buck's head and heart were in. He wanted you in his arms, not just now.
"I'm sorry," you whispered and tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let you, so you stayed.
"You don't have to talk about what's going on in there, but the day you feel like you need a hug to cry into, you've got mine" your eyes filled with tears again. "And don't ever apologize for it"
*
The smiles on your lips were becoming constant. And it was Buck's favorite image. You were letting people through your armor, you were letting your guard down, and it felt good. You now baked pies and cakes for the station on your days off, recipes learned from the girls after a few long afternoons of chatting and coffee.
Your laughter was contagious, and the boys would always crack little jokes to get them out of you.
Your eyes were now looking out for a pair of blue ones, all the time, everywhere. Eyes that were always looking back at you. Your hands were always looking for an excuse to bump into Buck's, just to feel that shiver run down your spine every time. And he would find any reason to text you, until the excuses became routine. You woke up every day with a good morning message and went to bed with a good night one. The little touches now became big gestures, Buck loved to brush your hair out of your face and tuck them behind your ear. And you loved to run your hand over the birthmark above his eye. You loved when his warm lips traveled up your neck to your lips. You loved when his hands ran over your body always so slowly and so gently, bringing goosebumps wherever they went. You loved making love with him. How he worshiped your body, how much he worshiped you. The way he made you feel loved.
You had a hold on Buck, and you didn't even know it. He had become attached to you, attached to the idea of having you by his side. The nights with you were the ones he could truly rest in, the mornings where he woke up to your soft kisses on his face, were the ones he would keep forever in his mind.
But he could feel that you were still resisting his feelings, and he was terrified of losing you. Buck was in love with you. It took months for him to realize that, but he did it. He loved you.
But one thing has never changed. And as Buck followed the loud murmurs coming from Bobby’s office, where he knew you were at, he kept in mind the danger you were in at every call. He couldn't lose you.
"Hey, what happe-" he couldn't finish the sentence when he saw you walking out the door, since you brushed past him, bumping into his shoulder, without even looking him in the face.
Buck made his way to the room, where he saw his captain wiping his hands across his face, letting out an exhausted sigh.
"She'll end up dead if she keep acting like this, Buck"
"I know"
"After the last call, if she doesn't change her behavior, I'll be forced to suspend her."
"I know."
Buck couldn't lose you.
You couldn't talk to Buck yet, you were so nervous after your conversation with Bobby. You were trying your best, how could he tell you that you had a death wish love? You were saving lives, and it didn't matter if it cost you your own. You didn't care.
A new call ecoed through the station. It was something big. A fire in a shed. People were working at the time, so there were many likely victims. You were anxious, just as you were before any call, but you were ready for it. You were born ready.
"Be careful," Buck told you before you got off the truck and you nodded. You were always careful "I love you"
You turned surprised to Buck, you'd never said that to each other before. It disconcerted you.
"Buck, I-"
Before you could say anything, you heard Bobby calling you to give instructions and you had to run.
I love you.
The words echoed in your head as you entered the burning building. No one had ever said that to you. You didn't even know the weight those words carried.
"Sir, follow this path and the fireman will take you to the exit."
It was so hot. You'd already lost count of how many people you'd pulled out of the line of fire. Your head was heavy. It was getting hard to breathe.
"Evacuate the building now," you could hear Cap saying over the radio. Everyone agreed and gave their location. You were about to respond when you heard something.
It was a call for help.
You could have sworn it was a call for help.
"Captain, I'm in the east side, I hear someone screaming for help. I'm close, I can get them out"
"Negative, the building will collapse at any moment. Get out immediately"
Your vision was blurred.
I love you.
You couldn't go out and leave those people to die, so you went ahead. The way to the door was difficult, there was a lot of rubble, and when you opened it, you froze in place.
It was empty. The fire danced in front of you, mocking you. But the cries for help... you've never been so wrong before.
I love you.
“It’s empty” you murmured at the radio.
Bobby was shouting your name from the other end of the radio. You turned around, but it was so hard to breathe. You tried to find your way back, but everything was spinning. Buck was now calling your name.
I love you.
His words were running through your head. Your steps were now slow. The way out, you couldn't find the way out. You could hear the fire laughing at you. Stupid. Pathetic. You heard an explosion behind you, and it threw you off balance, bringing you to the ground. You'd been walking through fire all your life, and now it would finally take its place back. Your siren buzzed in your ears. That would be the end of you.
I love you too, Buck.
The moment Buck came out of the building and didn't see you outside, he tried to go back. But hands held him in place.
This couldn't be happening. No, no.
Bobby called your name on the radio and you didn't answer. It's empty. That was the last answer they got. You weren't answering. An explosion. On the east side, where you were.
Buck's knees gave way, and he went down. All eyes were on the exit of the building waiting for you, waiting for a miracle. But it never came.
Buck screamed, and he would scream until his lungs gave up.
Time seemed to stop. Buck's screams were the only noise to be heard. And another explosion. Tears rolled down trough some faces. No one could believe it. This couldn't be happening.
Buck couldn't lose you like this.
"We found her" some voice echoed over the radio.
Buck's heart could stop any second now.
But the building was collapsing.
He broke free from his friends and ran into the building, dodging all the fallen and burnt obstacles, and he saw you. You were in the arms of a fireman. He ran up to you and carried you out of the building. As soon as you stepped onto the sidewalk, the building collapsed. Buck held you in his arms with all his strength and ran, feeling the debris fly past you.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" was the first thing that came out of your lips when he put you on the stretcher and he shut you up, pressing his lips to yours.
Buck analyzed each of your wounds alongside Hen and Chim and you could see the tears streaming down Buck's face, the ones that were also streaming down your own.
You were still struggling to breathe, every inch of your body ached, and you felt on the verge of losing consciousness. Until you succumbed to the darkness that was calling your name.
*
You woke up a few hours later in hospital. Your hands were being squeezed and you could feel something wet running down over them. Tears.
Buck had his face in your hands, he had never felt so afraid before. And when he heard your voice calling him, it was as if he could finally breathe.
"I'm sorry, Buck, I-I don't know what happened-"
"I almost lost you today"
Your heart broke into a million pieces. You did this to him, your recklessness, your impulsive behavior. It was your fault.
"I'm sorry"
Tears were now streaming down your face and he moved closer, running his hands gently down your cheeks.
"I was terrified of losing you. I'd die if I do."
"I would never leave you"
"Promise?"
"I love you, Buck. And I'll love you to death"
"Please don't let it be soon"
You smiled. No one had ever loved you like that.
"It won't."
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peathepirate · 2 months ago
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Part 22 - Finale
The one with criminal activities.
« PREVIOUS | BACK TO START
I can't believe this project is actually finished. I started sketching the first pages in January of 2021 (if my Instagram stories are to believe) and now I'm done? What am I even supposed to do now that I'm not drawing WINGS anymore?
It's not a perfect comic. It wasn't really meant to be a finished comic either, I was kind of messing around to see if I actually liked making longer comics. Turns out I do! I've always viewed this project as "practice", so the style is all over the place and at times, the art is really hard to look at (*cough* entire part 7 *cough*). But I finished it, all 206 pages of it! I never knew I had this much persistence in me :D
Things I wish I'd known before starting the comic: 1) Having a script will save you from many plot holes and plot threads that never lead anywhere (and it also gives you opportunities to do fun foreshadowing <- this is something I couldn't do for a Thing I came up with and had to drop because I'd already posted the first updates before writing the script). 2) Drawing in batches actually saves time, people aren't joking when they say that. It always takes time to get used to inking after sketching, or coloring after inking, etc. And when I say batches, I don't mean ten pages at a time, I mean like 40-50 pages at a time. I wish I'd realized this before the last 40 pages of this comic...
Thank you so, so much for each and every one of you who have been on this journey with me. It really has meant the world to me to have people I could share this story with. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed making it <3
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nutmeggery · 1 year ago
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I need Neil Gaiman to know that Good Omens 2 made me feel emotions I haven't felt in nearly a decade.
When I heard there was going to be a Good Omens 2 I was looking forward to it, of course. I just wasn't expecting it do anything super special to my emotions. I was sure I'd enjoy it, though. I really enjoyed s1.
But, for the last few years, I watched shows and afterwards basically thought well, that was fun, and I quickly moved on and didn't think much about them. There was only about 3 shows in the last 5 years that had made me feel truly emotional and stayed on my mind to the point where I felt like I needed to engage in fandom for a while. (Good Omens 1 was one of them.)
I wasn't spoiled by the leak. I never even knew there was a leak. So I had no idea what was coming in s2. And oh boy...
See, I'd watched Our Flag Means Death, a show where you don't expect the lead characters to kiss, because, well, that never happens in these types of shows, right? And this is important because when they did kiss, it felt like a door that had been locked with just about all the high security locks in the world had suddenly, inexplicably, been opened. Something switched inside me. It took me months to understand what it was, but when I thought about Good Omens before s2 came out, I realized what it was.
I would never truly enjoy a bromance they're-only-queer/in love-by-your-own-interpreation story ever again. Stories where nothing is confirmed, just subtext that anyone who doesn't want to see it can easily deny and mock those who wish it was more.
While it was clear that Crowley and Aziraphale cared a lot about each other in s1, and were probably in love, it was still just a fun ship for fans to play with in fanfiction and fanart. Do they love each other? Oh sure. In what way? Well, that's up to interpretation. Ok, cool. But it's not quite Our Flag Means Death, is it?
Then I watched Good Omens 2. And from episode 1 I saw my favourite Angel and Demon duo love each other. And I was having the best time. I hadn't had such a good time watching a show in a long while. It was not only right up my alley, it was an alley I wasn't even aware was my alley until I saw it. I enjoyed seeing the old characters, the new characters. Oh, I was wonderful.
It was clear to me that, of course Crowley and Aziraphale love each other, are IN love with each other, showing it in their own way. And I wasn't expecting it to be THIS obvious.
And then when the kiss happened, I couldn't believe it. I covered my mouth with both hands and gasped and sat up straight in my seat. I had never expected it--the heartbreak it added to the already heartbreaking scene--it rewired something inside me.
It was like my emotions had been locked up in a stall like a horse for so, so long, and now the gate had been opened, the stable door kicked down, and the horse was running out onto the large pasture into the daylight, bucking and kicking up grass. Oh my god, I have to take a few minutes to process that entire 6 hour marathon of emotions.
And by a few minutes I meant a few days.
More than a few, actually.
I didn't need a kiss to understand how much they loved each other, but I did need the kiss to understand how intense and heartbreaking their separation is for them after everything.
But more than that, the kiss broke a barrier. They really did it, I thought. They really dared.
Aziraphale and Crowley aren't human males, no, but they're played by male actors. And that is significant. That makes the kiss significant. In the world we currently live in.
Weeks later, I'm still obsessed with the show, re-watching s1 and 2, reading the book again, listening to the audio drama. And I'm on tumblr, seeing people's posts and art to somehow sate my hunger for a s3 that doesn't exist (yet).
And I'm having a wonderful time.
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fanficsat12am · 1 year ago
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how the brothers react to you listening after they were interrupted I Lucifer & Mammon
📜 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃!! 📜 Buy me a coffee? Leviathan, Satan & Asmodeus
Lucifer
He was a demon whose presence alone can catch a whole room’s attention. You can easily spot it from how he displayed himself—an epitome of perfection.
But alas, it wasn't always as easy to be heard when it came to his brothers. It seemed as if the only time they'd actually do so was when it felt like the whole Devildom could hear his booming voice. But who can blame them, there are 7 of them living under one roof after all. 
It was dinner time and he was in the middle of talking about an encounter with a rowdy demon when was interrupted by one of his siblings. This then prompted another response from one of them to another, and another until it was all just a cacophony of unintelligible talking. Each time he'd try to continue, his efforts proved to be futile, being once again interrupted. He eventually ceased trying altogether and opted to just listen, knowing full well he'd never get to finish. At least that’s what he thought. 
He looked across from him to meet your eyes. They weren't bolting about trying to keep up with the conversation of the others, they were set on him and only him. "Don't stop now! What'd you do?" you asked.
It felt nice, to say the least. He could not deny the warmth that had spread in his chest, knowing his once-shot pride was slowly being mended back together. Although he’s not surprised, considering how you’d happily lend an ear to listen whenever he’d talk about his exhausting days—this instance being no different.
As per our request, he continued on, the incomprehensible chatter fading into the background. The two of you would be in your own little bubble, with Lucifer telling tales as back as hundreds of years ago. Not too long after, his brothers were fascinated as well, enjoying the sense of nostalgia his tales brought. It all eventually ends with only the two of you still at the table—you being left in awe and Lucifer feeling a sense of being appreciated as well as appreciating you.
“I hope you found my stories enjoyable, My Love. If you wish to hear more, I'd be happy to humor you”
“I don't know how you'll be able to beat that one time when you and Mammon switched bodies for a while”
He clamps a hand over your mouth before you can add further salt to that memory of his.
“Shshshshsh. Some stories should never meet the light of day again”
Mammon
It’s not uncommon for the second born to be drowned out by his brothers. He typically just sulks and adds to the conversation by providing sounds of protest and agreement, but he never gets to fully share with the group.
Despite this, it gives him comfort that there’s at least one person who he knows would hear him even in a place as loud as the HoL. 
In the midst of the chaos, he felt a light tap on his hand. Looking up, he found you staring at him with curious eyes. "What happened next?" you asked, accompanied by a tilt of your head. If he was being completely honest, he was just trying to show off to his brothers— not really expecting someone to actually care which caught him off guard. Now that he did catch someone’s attention, he of course had to sprinkle in some exaggeration, no? He's not called The Great Mammon for Nothing.
He enjoys the feeling of having a spotlight on him. Your spotlight to be specific. He liked hogging your attention like the greedy little gremlin he is, and he’s not afraid to admit it. He’d start to ramble and would have a mix-match of different topics, jumping from one to another totally unrelated story. 
In the chance that you were sharing something at the table and get interrupted by one of his brothers, he doesn’t hesitate to immediately cut them off, no matter what you were about to say. He didn't even realize he did it—the action merely feeling like a knee jerk reaction to him.
"Oi oi oi! Shut yer traps for a minute will ya. MC was in the middle of something”
“...I need to go to the bathroom?”
“Tell us more" He said, the ends of his hands meeting as if in a prayer pose.
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love-belle · 1 year ago
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you're the best in my life and i lost you !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which they truly are the best in each other's lives but they lost them.
or
for when you finally get to know that maybe it is unrequited. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader
prequel - i'd never walk cornelia street sign ⋆·˚ ༘ *
warnings - language
author's note - finally here!!!!! i REALLLLLLY hope u like it !!! i have so much planned for this week and i hope i can show u all of it soon !!! thank u so much for reading i love you <3
tagged - @willowpains @lexxlouuu @topaz125 @leclercloml @sophiaasf @slut4peterparker @crlsummer @ananyasr1bughead @official-chicken-little @jspitwall @lovely-blackinnon
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, lilymhe and 3,927,588 others
yourusername my sophomore album "good riddance" is finally here and i'm soooo excited for u all to hear little pieces of my heart sewn together. every single syllable is what i feel and what i have been feeling. we all have that one person that we absolutely refuse to talk about so just like that, i ended up writing a whole album instead. thank you sooo much for supporting me, i love you all forever. and to the inspiration behind this, thank you. you were good to me. you're the best i've ever had.
19,628 comments
username SCREECHING WHAT THE FUCK
username oh my god
username now im half of myself here without you?????? you're the best in my life and i lost you????? and we had no control when it fell through???? it was one sided hate how i hurt you?????
-> username WHERE DO WE GO NOW
username i 😭 know 😭 i 😭 know 😭 better 😭 you're 😭 no 😭 guarantee 😭
username I ALMOST LOST IT I'LL HEAL EVENTUALLY BUT FASTER WHEN UR NEXT TO ME NEXT TO ME
-> username IM CODEPENDENT BUT TRYING HARD NOT TO BE IM BETTER WHEN UR NEXT TO ME
username why the FUCK aren't people talking about the blue and how it's literally her and charles???
-> username "you came out of the blue like that i never could've seen you coming i think you're everything i wanted" NAHHH FRRRRR
username there was absolutely NO NEED to break my heart like this
username charles is probably tearing up rn likeeee
-> username bro's hiding in a corner bc i KNOW lily is out for blood today
danielricciardo cool album
-> yourusername thank u i wrote it myself!!!!!!
-> username as if daniel's stories aren't js him crying and singing along the whole album 😭😭😭
username "i know it won't work" had NO business ruining me like that when i know damn well i haven't even held hands with someone
username THE VOICE MESSAGE IN THE INTERLUDE OMGKMGKMGKGSJJAJS
-> username i bet you my first born that it's CHARLES
-> username lost it when it was cut from charles' message (yes it was charles and yes it broke my heart) to y/n's like THERE WAS NO NEED TO HURT ME LIKE THAT
username i wish for pain and im glad we only live once bc this woman WILL find more creative ways to hurt us with her amazing songwriting and vocal skills
lilymhe LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEE
-> yourusername I LOVE YOUUUUU
lilymhe SO SO SO GOOD AHHHSJSJSJS
-> yourusername STOP TYSM IM GONNA CRY
lilymhe the only album to ever exist btw
-> yourusername ur the 1 for me ❤️
username still not over two people like what do u MEAN "hate how we touched just to push things aside. when u take me for granted i make it alright"
username she's never attaining peace for releasing this and ruining my nights
username OH I KNOW SPIRALLING IS MISERABLE I SHOULD PROBABLY GO BACK HOME WHY DOES THAT FEEL DIFFICULT DIFFICULT
carmenmmundt still crying
-> yourusername same 😭😭😭
carmenmmundt george wants to comment but he can't see through his tears
-> yourusername PLEASE OMG
username "and to the inspiration behind this, thank you. you were good to me. you're the best i've ever had." DO U WANT ME TO CRY
username charles i am in ur walls
username i will never understand how she wrote "it's nice to have a friend" for charles and now she wrote "two people" like how did THAT transition happen
-> username the worst transition ever btw
landonorris thid is si good anf im cryjng so harf whay thr fucj
-> yourusername lando deep breaths
-> landonorris DINT TELL MR TI TAKR DEEP BRESTGS I SWRAR
-> yourusername wow
-> username i identify so much with lando it's INSANE
username somewhere in monaco pascale leclerc is listening to this album and it's a good day ❤️
-> username bet u literally my bank account the entire leclerc household is BLASTING this
carla.brocker words cannot explain how proud i am 🩷🩷🩷 i love you so much big sis
-> yourusername carlaaaaa 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼 u own my heart i LOVEEEE you
-> username this made me tear up whatcthebfuck
username no bc i KNOW charles heard "will u cry" and CRIED like that man is not strong enough to bear that
-> username no bc "u don't move me???? i see through u????? i don't follow???? i don't want to?????"
-> username that man is in SHAMBLES about this rn
username GOOD RIDDANCE TOUR WHEN
username this will be my personality for years to come
lorenzotl proud of you y/n/n 🤍
-> yourusername i love u charlotte's bf thank u
username cannot breathe bc "it's almost like you like to let me down" and "i hate the fact that i miss u around"
≡;- ꒰ °twitter꒱
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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, danielricciardo and 2,672,882 others
charles_leclerc so proud of you. seeing you live your dream is the best feeling ever and i hope you get to see the world just like we talked about. things aren't the same but my support for you will always be unwavering. this is what you were made for and i couldn't be more happy 🤍
tagged yourusername
16,628 comments
username what the actual fuck
username WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
username stfu this isn't DONE like u CAN'T do this
username "things aren't the same but my support for you will always be unwavering" WHAT IF I CRY
username so u mean to tell me that he went to her show after MONTHS even when they're not together just to support her???? bc he wants her to see the world even if things aren't the same????? what the fuck
username i did NOT need this at 7am in the morning come back later
username babe wake up new y/ncharles lore js dropped
danielricciardo amazing show!! aren't you glad i dragged you there?
-> charles_leclerc i literally booked the tickets myself what are you on about?
-> danielricciardo let me have this one mate
username last night was UNREAL bc wdym y/n's ex fiancé was there and wdym she sang full machine and the blue for him and wdym he came on stage and spoke so fondly about her and WDYM MAX VERSTAPPEN AND LANDO NORRIS THREW WATER AT THE AUDIENCE JS FOR THE HELL OF IT
username this is my roman empire
username i know he was dying inside like
username imagine fumbling a bad bitch like y/n couldn't be me LMFAOOOO
username y'all brutal in the comments let my man grovel in peace
landonorris nice caption. now say i love you.
-> charles_leclerc i love you lando
-> landonorris not to ME to HER (i love you too 😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍)
-> charles_leclerc oh (no)
username SCREAMING DANIEL SNATCHING Y/N'S MIC FROM HER AND SINGING HIS FAV SONG FROM THE ALBUM
-> username THEY'RE SO UNSERIOUS 😭😭😭
username this caption will haunt me in my dreams
username is it js me or did her voice crack when she said "now i know it's unrequited"
-> username NO BC I FR THOUGHT THAT IT WAS JS ME
-> username she genuinely looked on the verge of tears throughout "405" like
-> username imagine being y/n and singing the most heartbreaking song ever about ur ex IN FRONT OF UR EX
username no bc this feels like a confirmation that they'll never be together guys why does this feel so final i want my parents back.
username SCREAMING WHATHEBRCUKXKSKA
carlossainz55 surreal night. loved seeing you lose your cool every time she was nearing your side of the stage
-> charles_leclerc just because we can speak doesn't mean we should
username the camera switching from y/n to charles when she sang "i know it won't work" was so me like the camera person is messy js like me fr
username genuinely in ruins on my bedroom floor rn y/ncharles nation we LOST
username no bc i CANNOT enter their friendship era ever again after seeing what i have seen for the past few years
-> username fr like people don't GET IT!!!! they were supposed to get MARRIED
username forever crying bc of them 💔💔💔
yourusername forever grateful for u!!!! thank u so much 🫶🏼
*liked by charles_leclerc*
yourusername u deserve the world
*liked by charles_leclerc*
username charles replying to everyone but y/n on the post HE made for HER makes me so idk like it's weird
username no bc why do i have the feeling that y/n and charles are NOT good and this is js something done for "damage control" or wtv
username im.
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